Late nights, climbing flights, running laps through my mind. Trying hard to distinguish what is yours, what is mine. Mind over heart I know, but my heart tells my mind not to let this love go. So I lie here distressed, all this pain in my chest. Almost as if you pulled my heart from behind my left breast. This is killing me softly, like a Lauryn Hill song. I don’t know if I can do this. It feels so wrong.

Drunk texts, no regrets, at least not yet… until the next morning when you realize you meant every word that was said. A drunken mind speaks a sober heart, it’s true. Emotions overflowing all thanks to 80 proof. With every shot you take, you become more sentimental. Bottles of beer expose the thoughts in your mental. Drunken confessions you can never take back don’t account for the sober bravery that you lack.

Here’s to the nights: sober, high, or drunk… and to every single person that we’ve ever loved. Past, present, future. It all ends up being relative. I don’t ask for much, just for all of you to let me live.

I Wish

I wish I believed in infinity. I mean, really. I truly attempt to force myself to believe in forever. I want to be able to look past the things that have happened in my life and say “Maybe some things do last.” I can’t though. My brain prevents it. Logically, infinity makes no sense. I have never seen something last forever. Not one life, one relationship, or one piece of history has lasted for infinity. Not in its original state at least. These things are altered and manipulated in such a way that they are very rarely recognizable at first glance. I just want something that lasts. I want to believe that a relationship can last past a lifetime. I want to see a promise faithfully kept, under all circumstances. I want to see souls grow old. I want to see past my existence on Earth. I want to see where I’m going to be 4 billion years from now. I want to find the beauty in forever.