You Should Never Step Out of the House In. . .

Some things you should never wear in public. I don't care who you are, or where you're headed. You could be going to the gas station or the city dump, but you should always do it looking halfway decent. These are some things that you shouldn't ever be caught dead in.


#1: Any type of shoe that makes you look absolutely ridiculous. You should NEVER spend money on Skechers Shape Ups, Crocs, Man Sandals, or Heelys. You look silly walking around in any of those. Crocs are probably some of the ugliest things that I have ever seen in my entire life. I remember when everyone I knew owned a pair. Heelys also make you look very, very silly. It is completely unnecessary to have wheels on the back of your shoes. I promise you that if I see you wearing Heelys and you go back on your heels to use them and you fall, I am pointing and laughing in your face.


#2: If you are a guy and you own a pair of jean shorts, it's probably because your mother got them for you. That's fine. However, if you faithfully wear jean shorts. . . there is an issue. Wearing jean shorts makes you look like a very trashy person. My personal favorite are the man capris that guys like to turn their shorts into. Just your ankles are showing. . . and those are supposed to be shorts? Um. . . that is NOT at all okay. Stick to khaki and basketball shorts. You look 987213 times better.


#3: Rainbow colored hair, whether it is real or weave, is the biggest no no in the book. Unfortunately, my school is infested with girls who think that their purple, red or yellow colored weaves are the shit. They're not. Your natural hair color would make you look like Tyra Banks in comparison to how you look now. You just look ghetto, and I don't know about you. . . but I don't think that's attractive at all.


#4: Long ghetto nails are not at all cute or stylish. It is not necessary for your nails to be five inches long with logos of fast food places, your name, or colorful designs of your favorite place to shop. How can you text, do your makeup, or wipe your ass with those damn nails in the way of things? You can't. Take them off, or at least get them a decent length with a solid color or a french manicure.


#5: Last, but certainly not least, is the mini denim skirt. It just looks trashy. It doesn't matter what you wear with it, it's not cute. Want to make your flared denim skirt look even more adorable than what it is? Wear it with a nice pair of leggings. You'll get all of the cute boys in that thing! Do me a favor, if you do own a denim skirt and you're still wearing it. . . take it to the Goodwill. Or the Salvation Army. Or throw it away. Yeah, throw it away. That would probably be best for everyone.