Alexis Marie

I remember waking up to a phone call on June 26, 2009 . . . and being extremely pissed about it. I answered, but my calls kept dropping because of the hotel I was at. The next thing I know, I get a text message from your mom that said this:

"Loren, Alexis got hit by a truck last night. She's bleeding internally, and there's nothing they can do about it. They've already given her two pints of bloods. It doesn't look like she's going to make it."

I was in disbelief. I thought you two were playing some type of sick prank on me to be honest. I called her back, shitty. I remember saying:

"Regina, you're joking. It's really not funny."

But it wasn't a joke. At that point I started to hyperventilate, told her I was on my way to the hospital, and hung up. I told my mom what happened and we immediately started our four hour trip back to Evansville.

The next four hours were the longest four hours of my entire life. It was a combination of praying, outburts, tears, and loud music that drowned out my screams. I blamed myself most of the way there, thinking that if I had been in town I could have given you a ride to where you needed to go. . . then you wouldn't have been in the situation you were in.

I wouldn't have gotten through that four hours and kept my right mind had it not been for three important people. My mom, Andrew, and Iman. . . and even though I'm really not close with any of them anymore it's important that they know they're appreciated for trying to help me stay positive. I couldn't give the three of them enough thanks for the hope that they gave me.

After what had seemed like days on the road, we pulled up at the hospital. I ran in the entrance, turning into one hallway after the other trying to find where you were. In front of the hospital's chapel I received a text informing me that you passed. I fell to my knees and screamed. Never in my life have I cried as much as I did that day.

I walked into the room where all of your family was, and gave your brother the biggest hug in the entire world. I quickly found Shelby. . . and we began crying in each others arms. From that point on, everything that took place in the hospital is a blur.

That night, I spent the night at your house with Bria and Abbey. Bria and I slept in your bed. . . that is the hardest and stupidest thing that I think I have ever done. I woke up the next morning looking for you, and felt like dying when I remembered that you weren't there to look for.


Alexis, I constantly think about you. I miss you more than ever. The hardest part about you being gone is knowing that even if you could come back, you wouldn't. I know that I'm selfish in saying that I wish you were still here. . . but isn't everyone a little selfish? We always had fun together, even in the most boring situations. You did a lot for me that no one else did, and I thank you for that. You were probably my truest friend. I was reading the note you wrote me in my yearbook last year and part of it says:

"I don't know what I would ever do without you, and I hope I never have to find out."

I break down every single time I read that. You never had to find out sweetie, but I did. . . and it's the hardest thing that I have ever been through in my seventeen years of life. I love you and I miss you more than anything in the whole world. I can't wait to see you someday, hopefully sooner rather than later. . . but until then, rest easy.

Alexis Marie Stewart (3.3.1993-6.26.2009)